Lyman, Wyoming

It's 1:00 in the morning and I can't sleep. Why I'm not sure. Maybe it's the knowledge that I don't have to go to work tomorrow, maybe it's the fact that I'm hungry (although you really can't justify eating something at 1 a.m.), or maybe it's just that I'm feeling particularly nostalgic tonight... Anyhow, I thought I'd indulge the whim.

Tomorrow - or really technically today - is Thanksgiving. And for some reason tonight I miss Wyoming. My dad grew up in a tiny (and I mean tiny) town in Wyoming called Lyman. Ever been there? I'll be honest, not terribly exciting (I took my friend Jen through there on our way back from Denver this last July. She will tell you how exciting it was). I'm not a huge fan of tiny towns and could never see myself living in one.

But when I was a little girl, we went to Wyoming a lot. I have many childhood memories of riding horses, exploring, trips to the candy store with money grandpa would give us, playing at the park down the street with no adult supervision (Seriously, that's just an inconceivable concept all on it's own in todays world. Can you imagine letting children go alone to the nearby park?). Anyway, my point is that Lyman was a happy place for me as a chlid. Every Thanksgiving was spent in there, and I loved it. I have several cousins who are right around my age (give or take a couple of years), and I loved spending time with them.

When I was 16 years old my grandpa passed away, and the visits became fewer and farther between. There's precious little that gets me out there anymore. The occasional funeral or family party... and sometimes not even then.

For years my siblings and I have teased my dad mercilessly about the little place where he grew up (which I might add he never deserved), and he would always patiently smile and defend his home town.

I miss Lyman today, and wish I was there. Wherever you are today and whatever you are doing, have a Happy Thanksgiving! :)

"I'm Not a Baby Sitter. I'm a Performer." - Adam Lambert

"I'm not a baby sitter? I'm a performer???"

Adam Lambert is a dirt bag. Enough said. And no, my opinion has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he is gay. I am extremely disappointed in his behavior.

Sorry - I just had to say that.

Tagged :)

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 35 "I’ve come to realize." At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size…
Will always be much bigger than I want it to be…Sorry if that sounds weird. My chest size is about two sizes bigger than the rest of my body…I HATE IT. Clothes that fit in that area, are often baggy everywhere else.

2. I've come to realize that my job...
Has so many really nice people at it. I have also come to realize that no matter where you work or what you are doing, it's all in your attitude. I don't always have a great attitude but on the days I do, work goes a lot more smoothly.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I feel completely free. It's great. It's one of a small handful of places where I feel truly safe, and can really be myself.

4. I've come to realize that I need...
Sunlight.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
Myself…and a sense of who I used to be and who I still am deep inside. In getting married and taking on an entirely new life with new people in it, I completely lost myself. I let others define who they thought I should be, and I lived in that world for a while…Too long. I am in the middle of that great quest to "find" myself again. No matter what anybody thinks, you have to be true to yourself. It was never about what they thought anyway.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
Competition starts creeping into families, friendships, and in church settings. These things have nothing to do with competition, and when competition runs rampant in these settings, it's never healthy, and it almost always hurts someone's feelings. I am very, VERY opposed to it.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
I think I would make a really funny drunk. But since I don't drink, I will probably never find out.

8. I've come to realize that money...
Isn't everything.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
Will probably never change. They might, but I can't count on that. So I am learning to go through life with the expectation that these people will not change, and I can't let it affect me. I can control how I act in all situations, and it doesn't matter how I am treated or what someone else thinks of me. It has nothing to do with how I respond.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always…
Be me. I am completely unique, and some people will never understand why I do the things I do or what motivates me, and that's okay.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
Are some of my favorite people on this earth. They are seriously so awesome. I'm really proud of the wonderful people they are all becoming in their own way.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
Loves the gospel more than she loves anything else. Her entire life has been spent dedicated to this cause. She has been a great example to myself and my siblings.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
Is so clearly awesome. I love it. I have the LG Dare, and while it's no I-Phone, I really love it.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
I didn't have time to do my hair. :( But that's okay. Pony tail it is.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
I was waiting for my husband to get home from basketball -- watching the Hannah Montana movie, which surprisingly isn't all that bad.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
I can't believe it's October. Seriously, the year will be over before we know it.

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
Is a total Michael Jackson hater. But that aside, he's awesome. He is a very kind, generous person and most everyone who knows him, likes him. :)

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
I spend way too much time playing this Farmville game. It's fun, but truly a waste of time. Just ask my husband or my brother. They will let you know what a waste of time it is.

19. I've come to realize that today...
I couldn't be more proud of Elizabeth Smart. What she is doing today takes a whole lot of courage. Good for her -- confronting this. She is the perfect example of not letting your past dictate your future. All of Utah and beyond stands behind her. Anyone who harms a child is a monster, plain and simple. I am SO proud of her.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I'm going to the temple with my husband. :)

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow…
Is Friday. Wahoo! LOVE Fridays.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
Find my life's mission. I've been thinking about it constantly. If I can just find my path and get on it…if I can just be working towards something, then I will feel so much better.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to re-post this is...
No idea. I never worry about that kind of stuff.

24. I've come to realize that life...
Is CRAZY. Awesome at times, way sucky at times, and just plain CRAZY.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
Is General Conference! I've been waiting 6 months for this. :) General Conference is the greatest thing in the world, and it can change everything for you. It can give you hope, confidence, happiness… It can answer your questions and help you with your struggles… IT'S AWESOME. If you haven't tapped into the power there is to be had in General Conference, I suggest you try it. Go in with a prayer in your heart and an open mind, and you just might be amazed at the results.

26. I've come to realize that marriage...
Is really awesome, hard at times, and there's nothing better.

27. I've come to realize that my (close) friends...
Are the greatest people in the world--proof that Heavenly Father loves me. I would do anything for them, and they mean everything to me. As much as I love my family, my world would feel very empty without my close friends.

28. I've come to realize that this year...
I have experienced a lot of healing emotionally. I'm not totally on track to where I want to be yet, but it's been a good year full of healing and forgiveness.

29. I've come to realize that my ex…
???

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
Trust people a little more and not be so guarded all the time. I've got major trust issues. There's been a little too much betrayal and manipulation in my life and I'm working through my issues and learning to get through it.

31. I've come to realize that I love...
A whole lot of things. Good deeds, good people, anonymous acts of kindness, the temple, anything that points you to God and Christ, my husband, the prophet, summer time, sunlight, hugs, all things Disney, music, games, Bob Hope, jewelry, General Conference, Temple Square, laughter, Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball, singing, The Office, old movies and musicals, time spent with my siblings, institute classes, visiting teachers, concerts, amusement parks, autumn, Jazz basketball games, standing up for what you believe in, people who feel the fear and do it anyway, and extreme amounts of talent--in all it's awesome forms…I love watching those who are among the best in their chosen fields…

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
A lot of things. Racism is probably at the top of the list.

33. I've come to realize my past...
Is what it is. I should never be ashamed of who I am or what my background or heritage is. Mistakes made along the way are things to be learned from, not things to hide from or be ashamed of.

34. I've come to realize that parties...
Can be the greatest way to spend an evening, or a night spent in hell, depending on who I'm with and what we're doing.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
Of disappointing people. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt when I let someone down in any way at all.

I Love My Country

I recently came across this great quote:

"Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, faounded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail. This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the New Jerusalem. This is the place that the Lord said is favored above all other nations in all the world. This is the place where the Savior will come to His temple. This is the favored land in all the world. Yes, I repeat, men may fail, but this nation won't fail. I have faith in America; you and I must have faith in America, if we understand the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are living in a day when we must pay heed to these challenges.
"I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. This is the favored land. This is the land of our forefathers. It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may have to pass through.

Harold B Lee, Ye Are the Light of the World, 350-51

I have a tendency to worry a lot about this country, especially given the current state of affairs. I turn on the news and often times I am very frightened. Freedom feels so fragile. It's something that has to be fought for, something we have to protect every day, and something that many people would like to take away from us.

I am so grateful for those who put themselves in harm's way to keep us safe. And I wish the preachers of doomsday would knock it off. We need to be aware of the dangers out there, but we can certainly be optimistic.

Broken

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day
Broken storms yield light
Break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight
Broken souls that need his mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things?
Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me
To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till his name feels broken in
Broken souls that need his mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things
And yet our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still that broken flesh
That broken heart of his
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with live undeserving
This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I’m convinced that God loves broken me
Praise his name, my God loves broken things
So broken cloud give rain
And broken soil grow grain
And broken bread feed man for one more day.

Broken, by Kenneth Cope

I love this song. Every once in a while you hear a song that you just know had to be inspired. This song came to me at a time where I really felt broken. I felt like I was just different. That no one understood. That I would never get my life together and be happy. I felt...well, broken. But God really does have a way of picking you up off the floor, putting you back together, and helping you see how your individuality is a good thing and how that makes you unique and special...meaning that you have something wonderful to offer the world.

It's absolutely true. God really does love broken things. :)

Yay for Seth Riggs

I received this email last night from the great Seth Riggs - founder of the most fantastic singing method on earth, and vocal coach to some of the greatest singers of our time, including the phenomenal Michael Jackson:

On Thursday of last week, the world wept as we all came to grips with the fact that, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, had passed away. Anyone who has ever loved his music knows what an effect he had on our lives, our culture and our souls. He was truly a creative genius and gave his life to the perfection of his art.

I have worked closely with Michael for over 21 years, as his vocal coach and his friend. We have been through countless concerts, performances, rehearsals and tours… but nothing quite like his “This is it Tour”. We worked tirelessly, everyday, as Michael is indeed a true perfectionist. He took every measure to make sure he was prepared for the grueling tour, vocally and in all other aspects as well. It truly would have been a legendary tour.

The death of Michael Jackson had indeed come to me as a dramatic shock and I was overwhelmed with a deep sense of sadness. Not only for the late star, but also for all fans and friends, but most importantly, for his family. I not only lost an extraordinary pupil, I lost a great friend. He will be truly missed as one of the most inspirational, kind, and dedicated people to have graced us with his enormous talents.

At this time there are millions of press releases flooding us with “reports” and accusations. I stand strong that Michael Jackson was well before his tragic death and eager to begin his world-wind tour. I believe he was devoted to making the best tour for his fans that was humanly possible, and beyond! Any other misquotes or assumptions posed to be my words are false, as this is my first and possibly only public statement regarding this matter. I believe that unless it is proven otherwise, his cause of death was accidental.

I do hope that in this time of mourning, we as a people, can focus on the immense greatness that Michael shared with the world, and not diminish his name with any negative accusations. He was a beacon of light and harmonious genius, and he should be remembered for all the treasures he left us. We are blessed to have lived in the time of, Michael Jackson.


Sincerely,

Seth Riggs
President / Founder
Speech Level Singing Intl.

Love that, love that. love that. You go Seth. :) Michael Jackson was...and is...
AWESOME.

Have You Seen My Childhood

Before you judge me
Try hard to love me
Look within your heart
Then ask
Have you seen my childhood.

From the song Childhood - by Michael Jackson

As my friend so beautifully stated on his blog, http://smallpebbleuncovered.blogspot.com/ nobody can really know the whole truth, until you've walked in their shoes. I don't imagine it was very easy to be Michael Jackson, and I believe those who wrongfully judge simply don't understand the man and haven't done much research on his life.

I am not saying that he isn't responsible for the choices he has made. What I am saying is chemical makeup, childhood abuse, and exposure at a young age to many adult things changes you. I am asking for a little more tolerance and kindness. A little more appreciation for one of the greatest if not the greatest musician the world has ever known. Let us remember and appreciate the music he left us, the impact he had on our childhoods and lives, and above all the reminder that it is so important how we raise our children.

My heart breaks for his tragic life, and yet it smiles because he had such a huge impact on all of us. During my elementary school years there was only one pop artist I knew - Michael Jackson. School dances and assemblies were ALWAYS playing his music. Everybody dressed like him. Everybody knew who he was. He is the only pop singer I remember from my childhood. He was larger than life.

He was far too young to die, but I imagine he is in a better place where he can live without the sorrow he experienced in this life. The world has less talent today...and feels a bit more empty.

How Sad...

This is how I prefer to remember Michael Jackson:



I absolutely idolize him musically. What an amazing talent...and what a sad day.

Love This

Wicked

I was lucky enough to be able to attend Wicked a few weeks ago. It was SO MUCH MORE than I was expecting.

Just in case there's someone out there who doesn't know (which I doubt), Wicked is the story of the witches from the Wizard of Oz.

I went into this thing hearing "Oh, Donna Vivino, Donna Vivino! She's so amazing! She's better that the original…" So, needless to say I went in with very, VERY high expectations of the Elphaba character. And although she was quite good, I wasn't swept away like everyone else was…but she did nail those high notes. I'll give her that.

I hadn't heard much about the girl who plays Glinda. I expected her to be unbelievably annoying. I've never really liked the song Popular and although I LOVE Kristin Chenoweth, the character just got on my nerves…probably because I've known far too many "Glinda's" in my life.

HOWEVER…….That being said……..

I was BLOWN AWAY by Katie Rose Clarke - the girl who played Glinda. She was BRILLIANT. She was hilarious, her singing was flawless, and her acting made me cry - in short, BRILLIANT.

The most surprising thing about Wicked was the life lesson I took from it. I always thought that Wicked was the story of how the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't bad at all…just misunderstood…and how Glinda, the beautiful, selfish, snotty, popular girl was really the villain. And although it kind of starts out that way, the story takes a huge turn about halfway through and you realize that neither are at fault. We each make our own choices. We each do the very best we can with our set of given circumstances, and these two characters are no different.

What was brought to my attention was the fact that although Elphaba endured great loss, in standing up for what she felt was right, Glinda, in a way, took an even bigger hit. She lost the love of her life, and also her best friend…yet she was forced to get up in front of the people every day, and kind of be the "face" of the government (if you can call it that). She had to stand up and defend the faulty leadership that lies to it's people. It was her job to protect this illusion, and tolerate all the lies about her friend and what really happened. She hated it. It was hell for her. And still she put on a happy face for the people. Toward the end, she even gets to the point where she is about to come clean, and Elphaba makes her promise that she won't clear her name. She can't…because it will ruin all the good she can accomplish. After Elphaba "melted," Glinda was not even able to know that her friends were still alive. She lost the most important people in her life and had to learn how to grow up and go on without them. She was able to overthrow the existing leaders and make Oz a much better place…yet she still remained alon. After seeing the play I really do believe the hardest burden to carry - was Glinda's.

I found it to be extremely poignant…and sad. But I LOVED it.

Dear American Idol,

It's a good thing you are over until January, because I really can't take it anymore. If he's the best singer in America, I quit.

Boo.

Lets try to do a better job next year.

Las Vegas is a Crazy Town

I spent a weekend in Vegas a few weeks ago. Now, if I don't seem like the Vegas type to you, your assumptions are absolutely correct. I don't drink or smoke, nor do I believe in gambling. I am certainly not into anything those guys are passing out on the street, nor do I like what's on the billboards EVERYWHERE.

So what does Las Vegas have to offer someone such as myself? Happy Memories…A few years back a won a national singing competition, where Jim Brickman flew me to Las Vegas to sing in a concert with him. That was a life changing experience for me. I also went a couple years ago on my honeymoon to see Celine Dion's incredible show just before it closed. That (you may laugh) was also a life changing experience for me. So you see, Las Vegas holds very, very happy memories in my mind.

I do have to say this time around, that Vegas was exhausting. It was hot, crowded, and I think we were harassed about the whole time share thing about 30 times. They are getting more aggressive, I think. We even sat through one of the presentations, which was a mistake of gigantic proportions. They practically have to tackle you to get you to agree to sit through the thing, and then they make you feel like the stupidest person on the planet for not buying. It's a time share for crying out loud! It's a big decision and they're like, "Now! Now! Decide! Decide! You want this! Buy it! Now!" They offer you one price and then that price goes down when you say no…then it goes down again. And then you finally feel like you're getting out of there...and you go to another room where another guy gives you a survey, where he offers you the same time share for half of what the lowest price in the other room was. RIDICULOUS.

We went to the dolphin habitat at the Mirage, which was by far my favorite. I also really enjoyed the wax museum, as always. We did quite a bit there -- the Titanic exhibit (which was awesome), the Bodies exhibit (gross, gross, gross…but educational), the Tournament of Kings show (Medieval Times is way better), the Bellagio, the NBA history of basketball museum (my husband's favorite), M&M World, In & Out Burger (Yum), and various wandering at almost every casino on the strip.

It was fine, and it was nice to get away, but I've discovered that without a Jim Brickman concert to sing at or a Celine Dion concert to attend, Vegas just doesn't quite hold the same magic…at least for me.

Random Thoughts

A bunch of my completely random thoughts tonight:

-It amazes me every day just how dumb some customers can be. For the record, I hate free shipping promotions, and I hate those days at work. Some people just cannot seem to master the concept of reading the terms of a promotion and typing in a promotion code. I don't mean to gripe. It was just a bad day at work today.
-I have to wonder why most customers call the new Mormon Tabernacle cd "Come Thou Font." I swear 75% of them do it. It's "Come Thou FOUNT of every blessing."
-A little bit of advice - if you're driving down the road in your car, this would NOT be the appropriate time to pick up your cell phone and place an order. You have to thumb through your catalog and find your credit card and then read off the card numbers and THEN write down your confirmation number. This is NOT SAFE. Don't do it.
-I have fully committed to the decision that Danny Gokey should win American Idol. I know the other 4 people on the show are very talented and everyone deserves to win, blah, blah, blah. But DANNY is my pick to take the whole thing. I realize I may be wrong, for I remember all too clearly the Melinda Doolittle tragedy two years ago. But I hope I'm right.
-Speaking of Melinda Doolittle, she had a cd come out last month - FINALLY. And I'm sorry to say, the songs are not that great. Her voice sounds fantastic - I mean really...the girl can sing anything and it comes out sounding like gold. I think it's just a case of bad songwriters. I was pretty bummed about that. No disrespect to Jordin Sparks, but Melinda really is in a class all her own and deserves far better than this raw deal.
-Has anybody ever written out a 5 year plan? I mean a serious "I'm going to acheive my goals no matter what it takes," kind of 5 year plan. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
-I really envy those who seem to have mastered the power of positive thinking. You know, visualization and that kind of stuff. I really believe it does work, but I don't understand it. I would love to harness that kind of power.
-My sister is having a baby! It's a girl and she is due just one day before my birthday! I'm SO EXCITED to have a niece.
-Have you ever had the greatest friend in the world? You can understand each other and you are always there for each other no matter what? And then something goes bad. Very bad. Feelings are hurt and so much time goes by that you feel everything is beyond repair. And even when you try to make amends the hurt goes so deep that it really is beyond your power to fix. I have found myself in this situation more than once, as I'm sure most of us have. It's very difficult because even though you move on, there is still a tiny piece of you that remembers and kind of hangs on, and wishes things could be different. I guess the famous Dr. Seuss quote applies here: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
-I just found out another superstar has joined the clientele of my vocal coach...Miss (gulp) Miley Cyrus. I will try not to hold this against him, for he truly is brilliant. I will try to keep my opinions of Miss Cyrus to myself.

Anyway, these are my totally random thoughts for tonight. I'm off to enjoy some Wii Fit and have a little spa night. :) It's going to be fabulous. Hope your night is awesome!

Awesome General Young Women Meeting

I thought President Monson's talk tonight at the General Young Women meeting was awesome. He spoke about courage, and he covered three principles to follow. One of these principles struck me to the core. It was, "the courage to refrain from judging others."

I found it interesting that of all the hundreds of principles that he could have chosen, this was one of them.

It's true that most of us do our own fair share of wrongfully judging others...and on the flip side of that I am sure we all have been victims on more than one occasion of being wrongfully judged...and anyone who has suffered through that knows it is one of the worst experiences a person can go through.

I am particularly bad at this when it comes to singers. I'm awful. I'll admit it. I am so unbelievably judgmental. Even when someone is singing in church, I just sit there, my head spinning, my ears dying, my body wanting to shrivel up and die. This may sound a bit dramatic but I assure you it's the absolute truth, and I'm not proud of it. It doesn't occur to me that these people are not professionals, and in most cases, they are not trying to be professionals...and yet still, the judgment is there. I think with all the vocal training I went through, I now put everyone up against the standards of professionals I learned from, which is totally wrong.

I really, really need to work on this. Also very sad is the fact that I seem to have passed this quality on to my brothers--one of them in particular. I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm so grateful to a living prophet who reminded me that I need to work on this.

The "Judges Save?"

Honestly, what is this? The judges save? Are they serious? The argument for this is due to the following 4 examples:

Tamyra Gray
Jennifer Hudson
Michael Johns
Chris Daughtry

They say all four of these people left the show too early.

Tamyra - I absolutely agree with this one.
Jennifer - I agree to a point - but lets bear in mind that when she was on the show, she was NOT the amazing singer and performer she is today. Just YouTube some AI performances from her and you'll see what I mean.
Michael - I was not aware that there is a huge a following for this guy. I found him to be unpleasant, and extremely cocky. He hardly belongs in the same category as the other three.
Chris - Even with as much as I love Taylor Hicks, I have to agree that Chris should have won that season.

Now, if we review the rules for the judges save, it has to be unanimous, it can only be done once a season, and it can only be done until we get to the top 5. If you look at the list of examples they gave us, you will notice that Tamyra and Chris were already in the top 5 when they were kicked off. So if this rule had existed in the past, the only ones it would have helped are Michael Johns -- someone who in my opinion, wouldn't have been worth wasting a "judges save" on anyway, and Jennifer Hudson -- who again, wasn't nearly as good then as she is now. Nobody good have predicted her remarkable success.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, pointless rule. I don't know if they want more, or want to feel like they have more control over the show's outcome or what, but it seems very pointless.